Friendship as a foundation for mental well-being, social inclusion and peaceful societies

Fifteen years have come and gone since the International Day of Friendship was proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 2011, now observed every 30 July. Friendship, however, is far older than the observance itself. It is one of humanity's longstanding survival strategies deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.

So, what are friends really for?

Today, the world faces a myriad of challenges. Conflicts continue to displace millions. Economic inequalities persist, and public discourse often rewards outrage over understanding. Against such forces as these, friendship may seem modest at first glance. Yet psychology, through Gordon Allport’s contact theory suggests otherwise. Friendship is the bedrock upon which coexistence endures and societies flourish.

In his classical play, The Three Musketeers, published in 1844, Alexandre Dumas highlights how the bond of camaraderie (one for all, and all for one) can conquer the most treacherous of societal divides. Yet today, as we mark International Friendship Day, our world faces an emergency of isolation that no solitary hero can fight alone. Be it like the brooding Athos wrestling with past traumas, the worldly Porthos chasing status, or the conflicted Aramis torn between duty and desire, we have all retreated into our own insular, anxious silos.

In this day and age, many adults often underestimate the value of friendship and treat it with suspicion. Ironically, even as social media has made it easier than ever to stay connected, many people report feeling increasingly lonely. We are drowning in a modern epidemic of loneliness and geopolitical fracture. We have forgotten that the musketeers, though their personalities varied drastically, only survived the Cardinal’s deadly traps because they embraced D’Artagnan in their circle and refused to stand alone.

Luckily, unlike family ties, citizenship, or ethnicity friendship is chosen voluntarily. It asks us to see another person not as a representative of a group, tribe, religion, nationality, or ideology, but as an individual worthy of trust and care. It is shaped, affirmed, and sustained through our relationships with others and grows through listening, empathy, shared experiences, and mutual vulnerability. As the Zulu proverb says, (Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu). ‘A person is a person through other people’.

Friendship, wellness studies have concluded, functions as a protective factor against loneliness, depression, and social alienation. It provides belonging, meaning, and psychological well-being.

And it does something more remarkable to the human psyche. In the words of Julianne Holt- Lunstad, an American psychologist and professor, strong social connections are associated with better health outcomes and even longer life expectancy.

But the benefits extend beyond individuals. When we think of security or peacebuilding, for instance, we often imagine diplomats negotiating treaties, governments signing agreements, or international organizations coordinating interventions. But sustainable security and lasting peace rarely begin in conference halls. Everything boils down to everyday relationships that bring people together across lines of difference.

Actionable ideas like cultural exchanges, student programs, international sports tournaments, Ubuntu initiatives and people-to-people diplomacy that serve to shift perspectives or minimize the amount of hatred and disdain spread throughout the world have often succeeded in building trust where formal political channels struggled. In a sense, every genuine friendship is a significant act of bridge-building.

The friendships we cultivate in our neighborhoods, workplaces, schools, places of worship, and across borders are self-transcendent. For families, friendship nurtures emotional support and intergenerational understanding. For communities, it builds social cohesion and for cultures and nations, it opens pathways for dialogue and cooperation. After all, we have more in common than we all realize. Our humanity is neither isolated nor self-made.

In the timeless words of President Woodrow Wilson, the 28th president of the United States, “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together”.

Written By: Eric Karuti - Kenya